


And Then Came You

by thesnowyswan



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Canon Abuse, M/M, Mpreg, robert is gonna have a baby but he's gonna freak out the whole time first, the robron mpreg theory, yes i know this is my great shame but the character development was too inticing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-22 07:44:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13162443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesnowyswan/pseuds/thesnowyswan
Summary: Robert finds out about his pregnancy by accident.Warnings: for canon abuse.





	And Then Came You

**Author's Note:**

> Blame lesfemmesdangereuses, that's it. Blame her.

Robert finds out about his pregnancy by accident.

He’s at the doctors for a blood test, he’s been feeling tired and complaining of aches and pains and Aaron had pretty much shoved him out of the door to Dr Cavannagh’s and told him not to come back until he knew what was wrong.

“You’re pregnant.”

It’s like it happens to someone else. Someone who is ready for it. He’s just given a list of options, given them because he’s told that he’s high risk—

“High risk? What does that mean?” He asks, automatically.

Dr Cavannagh smiles, “You’re a bit older than the average new parent. It just means we keep a closer eye on you.”

He’s just turned 34, but he feels ancient.

Probably the worst of all of it is that he doesn’t tell Aaron.

He waves a prescription around, for ante-natal tablets, like it’s the answer to his problems and stuffs it into his work bag before Aaron even sees what it actually is.

But Aaron knows him. He watches Robert as the next two weeks pass and he pokes at Robert’s stomach when he’s lying in bed as it’s no longer completely flat like they’re both used to.

“What ya been eating then?”

Robert looks away and turns over, “Nothin’.”

Aaron lets his hand rest on Robert’s hip, “It’s just a bit of middle aged spread.” He’s trying to keep the humour out of his voice, but Robert knows he’s laughing at him and it makes him break down.

His throat is tight, and he barely keeps his shoulders from shaking as his lip wobbles.

“Robert.”

He can’t.

What if Aaron doesn’t want their baby?

“ _Robert_.”

Aaron tries to pull him to turn back over but he just gets up and storms into the bathroom, locking it before he hears Aaron’s footsteps behind him.

“I’m sorry if I offended ya, I know ya like to look your best.”

Robert wipes his nose with his forearm and unlocks the door. He’s sitting on the loo when Aaron opens the door, hesitantly creeping in.

He looks down at his stomach, how it doesn’t fold like it should because there’s the start of a little person in there.

“I didn’t want to tell ya.”

Aaron’s brow creases, “Tell me what?”

Robert shifts.

Aaron’s face is so open, so full of concern, he doesn’t want to change that, change what they have.

“I’m—”

He can’t say it. He just gestures to his stomach, makes a larger belly motion.

When Aaron cottons on, his face slackens in surprise, “What?”

“We’re having a baby or summat.”

“You’re—”

Robert nods, and Aaron hooks his arms under Robert’s armpits, hugging him and pulling him up to stand at the same time.

He lets the breath he’s been holding go. Aaron loves babies, he always has, but Robert can’t ever quite let go that _he’s_ the problem in this equation.

Aaron’s hand presses against his belly and Robert can’t help but pull away.

His husband’s face drops and Robert feels sick.

“Do you not want…?”

“Doctor said I’m a high risk. I didn’t—I didn’t want to get our hopes up.”

“Mine, you mean.”

Robert knocks past Aaron to grab his dressing gown, “Kids is always something you wanted.”

“But you didn’t, is that it?”

“Aaron, that’s not fair.”

Aaron shrugs like he doesn’t know what else to do, “I’m not try’na start nothing, I’m just try’na understand.”

Robert tries to put into words what he’s been carrying around for two weeks, “What if I get it wrong?”

“What? Being a dad?”

 _Being pregnant_.

There’s a whole new life depending on him to help it grow and be healthy when up until recently Robert had barely took care of himself.

He pushes his dressing gown open and the slight smoothness is the only indicator, but now, with Aaron looking at him because he knows, it feels real in a way it didn’t before.

“I’m not made for this.”

Aaron smiles, a little half smile like what he’s gonna say is a secret, “I ain’t, but I’d do it with you.”

Robert searches achingly familiar blue eyes and he wishes he had that kind of faith.

“Robert—”

He hugs Aaron around his middle, tucks his face against his neck and just breathes. Aaron rubs his back in gentle circles

“If you,” Aaron breathes and Robert’s heart stops, “If you really don’t think you can do this, we can—”

“No.”

He knows exactly what Aaron is offering.

“We should go to the doctor though, right?” Aaron kisses the side of his head and Robert draws back enough to look at his face.

Robert nods, his tongue thick.

“We’ll know stuff and decide, yeah?”

Aaron takes him back into their room where the silence is heavy, and Robert can’t explain exactly why.

 

~*~

 

The next few weeks pass, and Robert can’t shake his fear. He thought telling Aaron would ease it, but it doesn’t.

His shirts start to stretch a bit on his stomach and Liv keeps catching him out of the corner of her eye, so he goes back to eating whenever she sees him.

Aaron watches him and asks him one day while he’s buttering toast, “You don’t want to tell Liv?”

_Like you didn’t want to tell me?_

He pretends like he doesn’t hear him, but he stopped buttering, so Aaron knows he did.

“Rob. Talk to me.”

He thinks back to their appointment where risk after risk was piled on them, placental abruption springs to mind, and how protective he felt of their little nugget. He can’t do anything about those risks but hope that his body will hold out.

“I read somewhere that you shouldn’t tell people until 12 weeks.” He says it in a way that he hopes will be taken for absentmindedness.

“Liv isn’t people, she’s me sister, and she lives here. She’s gonna notice when you keep growing a belly and just a belly.”

Robert looks back at Aaron who is getting up from the kitchen table, his voice begging, “ _Please_.”

Aaron grabs his wrist when he reaches him and pulls him round, “We need to talk about this.”

“Aaron.”

“No. You’re being all,” he gestures to Robert, “weird.”

“We’re having a baby, it’s not normal.”

“Er, I’d say it is.”

“Aren’t you…?” He takes in a deep breath. He wants to say scared, but it doesn’t come out.

Aaron waits but Robert doesn’t finish. Aaron huffs and drags Robert over to their settee. He puts Robert between his legs and he holds his hands over Robert’s stomach and doesn’t let him push him off when he tries.

“We’re talking about this, so talk.”

Robert tries to wriggle free, but Aaron hooks his legs over his and he’s stronger than Robert is so he’s forced to flop back on Aaron in frustrated defeat. Aaron won’t hold him there if he truly doesn’t want to be there, his body slackening, but Robert stays where he is.

He says what he needs to in a rush: “We’re gonna lose this baby.”

 _We have to_. _I just got you back, I don’t get this as well_.

“You don’t know that.” Aaron tries to soothe, but Robert isn’t having it.

“And you do? I’m an old, decrepit timebomb. This kid’s got no chance.”

“This kid has every chance, coz you’re its dad.”

Robert’s eyes well up, “No.”

“Robert. You’re a bit older, it’s not the best, but Dr Cavannagh was happy for you to have the baby.”

“Yeah, and the rest of it?”

“The rest of what? The things that _might_ happen? Robert, you can’t live in maybe.”

Robert feels safe there, if he can prepare for every eventuality then they’re not going to be disappointed, or worse, heartbroken.

“Give me ya hand.” Aaron holds up his hand and Robert slaps his hand against Aaron’s palm and he turns it up so that it’s lying on top of his. He pushes their two hands up Robert’s shirt so that they’re both holding his stomach.

“That’s our kid. We did that. You figured it out enough to make that happen.” Aaron rubs their hands against the swell, “Even when you didn’t even know it, you were protecting it, helping it live.”

Robert looks where his shirt is scrunching up over them and he lets himself shed the tears he’s been holding back.

Aaron kisses his neck, his thumb rubbing against Robert’s skin where it can reach. “It’s alright to be scared, I am, but don’t you wanna meet them? Our little—”

“Nugget.”

“Nugget?”

“S’what I call it.”

“S’that’s what we’ll call it.” Aaron kisses his neck again and slips his hand out, knocking his front against Robert’s back. “Robert, you ain’t alone. I’m here for ya.”

Robert gets up and he pulls Aaron with him, “Toast?”

“Can we tell Liv?”

Robert sighs, “Can I tell her?”

Aaron looks at him, searching to see if he intends to actually do it, “Yeah.”

 

It takes another week, but Robert leaves a pair of white booties on the kitchen table, the matching onesie sitting pride of place on their dresser.

It’s just shy of 12 weeks, so it appeases them both and Liv holds them up in front of Aaron like ‘yeah?’ and he nods. She hugs her brother, comes up in front of Robert with aborted open arms.

“Is it alright?”

Robert smiles, pulling Liv into the hug she was about to give him.

“I thought you were just getting fat. You ain’t stopped eating.”

Aaron pushes Liv sideways by her shoulder and hugs his arm around Robert’s back so that his hand is cupping his opposite hip.

“Do ya know what it is?” she asks, speculatively.

They both shake their heads, Aaron saying, “We’re try’na keep it under wraps. You’re the first person we’ve told.”

Liv’s smile widens just a little bit and Robert can forget his fears for one second.

“You’re happy?” Robert asks her.

She looks at him in that way only she can, and he wants to hide from it, but she tucks herself back into his arms, “I can’t wait to be an aunt. Be better than you two.”

Robert snorts, “No doubt.”

They spend the afternoon talking about the spare room and what colours they’ll use, Liv is the artist after all, and when they feel like painting it.

He can’t help but panic when they mention soonish. Aaron puts his hand on Robert’s knee and squeezes, “Not right now though, got a lot going on with the scrapyard. Even got Rob helping me out, ain’t I?”

It buys him time, and he’s grateful, but it’s not forever.

 

~*~

 

It gets to a point where everyone is staring at him and he can only wear his pullover jumpers, his jeans buttoned under his bump. He stares back and when he doesn’t mention it, people know they can’t.

Chas doesn’t follow any rules to begin with, so when she sees Robert in the pub eating spag bol with chips ‘cause he fancies it, she pulls Robert’s coffee away from him – the only one he’s allowed himself this week – and glares at him.

“What?”

“What.” She repeats.

He tries to pull his saucer back, but Chas holds it between her thumb and index finger.

“Chas.”

“Robert.”

There’s a tense moment when Robert gets out his wallet and puts money down for Vic and he grabs his jacket. Chas falters, looks like she wants to say something, but doesn’t. Robert doesn’t care. His heart is jack hammering in his chest and he sits on the picnic bench outside and tries to breathe.

He’s forcing air into his lungs as he calls Dr Cavannagh. He talks Robert through his anxiety and refers him to a midwife and asks him to call her when he’s ready.

“It’s not wrong to have fears, Robert, but don’t let them overtake your life.”

 

Aaron isn’t pleased when he finds Robert later, sitting on their bed with a hot water bottle, half sleeping upright like he’s about to do a runner from the bed.

“Mum said she saw ya.”

Robert nods, “Mmm.”

“You didn’t tell her.”

He shakes his head.

“She didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. It’s just ya getting obvious now.” Aaron gestures to him.

He’s digging his heels in and he knows it, “It’s too soon.”

“Robert, it’s the Dales worst kept secret. You’re practically flashing Bob when you get your morning croissant.”

He pulls at his jumper, but he knows his belly is exposed between the hem and his jeans.

“Please, Aaron.”

“I’m try’na give you time, Rob, but we don’t have time. Nugget is coming.”

It makes him smile to hear Aaron call the baby, nugget, but he knows Aaron is right.

Aaron pushes his jumper up and kisses his stomach before pulling it back down.

“This is a good thing, Rob, Mum just wants to be happy for us.”

“And throw a party.”

“And throw a party.”

 

~*~

 

They survive the party, which they manage to whittle down to Chas, Liv, Gerry, Paddy and Charity when she walks in, only to have several arguments about the pram and cribs. Aaron wants to put them up, even leaving the pram outside, but Robert doesn’t want to tempt it.

“Robert.”

“What?”

Aaron sits on the floor of the nursery and rubs his face with his hand. His eyes are red, and Robert feels terrible.

“I can’t keep fighting ya, Rob, I can’t make you happy for this baby.”

His shoulders shake as he can’t fight the tears or the tension anymore. It’s awkward for Robert to get down, his altered sense of gravity still new, but he does it. He hugs himself around Aaron, but Aaron won’t hug him back.

“I want this baby, Aaron. I want it so bad.” He fights Aaron to take his hand like he did for Robert early in his pregnancy, he presses it under his new maroon jumper, a gift from Aaron because all his clothes are migrating to the loft for after the birth. “It feels like everything is waiting to take it from us.”

He sighs.

“And it’s gonna be my fault.”

Aaron looks up at him, “No.”

“I’m a mess, this all proves it. How can’t it be my fault?”

“Robert, listen to me. This baby is coming. It’s gonna need a bed to sleep in, a pram to get pushed in. I refuse to believe anything else, and have I ever lied to ya about anything important?”

It works. Robert can’t believe himself, but he never doubts Aaron.

“Call Anne, have a chat, and then come talk to me.” Aaron presses a kiss against his mouth as he gets up. They learned early on that when Robert’s anxiety pushes past a certain point, not even Aaron can help him, only a chat with their midwife can ease him.

He feels sheepish when he comes to sit with Aaron on the sofa while he watches You’ve Been Framed.

“I feel like I’m stuck. In a stupid cycle and I can’t get out.”

“I know, but we can find someone to help with that.”

He rubs his belly and squishes himself into the cushions, “Okay.”

 

~*~

 

It helps. Louis is great and specialises in men in his situation and offers him appointments for every two weeks.

Robert reaches six months and he’s ready to find out the sex. Aaron is surprised when he mentions it. He’s pulling on his favourite joggers and his new All Saints jumper because he refuses to completely concede to being a pregnant slob.

“I didn’t think you wanted to know.”

Robert shrugs, “I was scared, but I think…I think I wanna know, so we can pick a proper name for Nugget.”

Aaron smiles big and wide, just like Robert has missed. He grabs his husband by his hips where he’s standing in front of him, back to Robert’s front, and bites at his throat.

There’s a heavy moment where Aaron grabs the back of his head, but it doesn’t lead anywhere. Robert has a lot of issues, but this one is entirely Aaron’s.

“I miss you.” He tells him and Aaron smiles as he turns his head to peck a kiss on Robert’s mouth.

He catches Aaron by the waist, “Kiss me, properly.”

Aaron looks at him and Robert doesn’t back down, “Face your fears and all that.”

His husband isn’t one to back down from a challenge, he tilts his face up and Robert comes around to lick at the seam of his lips, encouraging him to be an active participant. He draws back, and Aaron follows, he forces Robert’s mouth open with his own and Robert actually feels his knees weaken with it. It’s been over a week since Aaron’s been anywhere near him for so much as a kiss, let alone a quiet snog. Reality literally bumps into them as Robert steps closer and his belly knocks Aaron and he pulls away, looking down at it.

“Don’t, come on.” Robert tries to claw back the moment, but Aaron’s hand brushes against him. It’s kind and soft, and totally Aaron, but he misses _them_.

Aaron smiles sadly. It’s a line he won’t cross, and given all the lines Robert has drawn between them, he doesn’t think it’s fair to push, even though he’s desperate.

He can’t help but ask when Aaron comes back from grabbing the washing, “Do ya not fancy me now?”

“What?” Aaron sounds like that’s the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard.

Robert pushes, and he pushes hard, “Well, you ain’t been near me in ages so it’s gotta be you don’t fancy me now I’m…”

He gestures to his stomach. 

“Robert…”

“You make it sound like they’re all my problems, Aaron, but you—you can’t even touch me half the time now.”

“It ain’t that and you know it.”

“Do I?”

Aaron curls down on himself as he sits on the bed and Robert feels like he’s made a horrible miscalculation. There’s only one other time in their lives when he remembers Aaron looking this small. He feels ill. _Please, no_.

“I know. I know it’s you, and God, I wanna. But it ain’t just you anymore, is it?” He folds up one knee and then the other, and Robert sits beside him. “When I touch you…”

 _I’m not just touching you_.

“Don’t.” Robert doesn’t need him to say it, “I get it. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

“But you’re right, we should—” and Robert interrupts him.

“No. There’s no should. We do what we want.” He’s firm and Aaron starts to unfold a little bit. “I guess it just means you gotta tell me proper that you love me. Words and everything.”

They’re both a bit misty eyed by the end, but Robert knows now that he isn’t the only one struggling.

“I love you, Aaron. I just want to feel close to you.” He opens his arms for a hug and Aaron lays them out on the bed and they cuddle for a good long while, fostering their love in different, less painful ways.

 

~*~

 

Another impossible line turns out to be the baby heartbeat monitor. Robert had been quietly excited over Nugget’s kicks, fluttery twitches that turn into strong presses on his internal organs until everything was silent for over a day and a half. The reality being Nugget had turned into a position that Robert couldn’t feel after sleeping for a good long while and was 100% a-okay.

“No.” Aaron tells him when he buys the thing, “The doctor said it will make it worse for you.”

“Like not knowing for a day and a half if our child is dead?”

It’s not like Aaron can argue with that, his hand a death grip on Robert’s until they heard that fast thump-thump on the ultrasound.

“We don’t use it every day. It’s not healthy, Rob.”

“Every other day?”

“Every three days, that’s it. Unless it’s an emergency.”

Nugget kicks heavily against Robert’s skin and Robert grabs Aaron’s hand so he can feel it.

“See, Nugget is happy. Nugget is alright.” Aaron assures him.

“We have to pick a better name.” They know the sex, Robert has just been dragging because he found learning the sex a lot more intense than he expected.

Aaron looks at him though, “Now?”

“I mean, we won’t tell anyone until after the birth.” Robert sits on the bed and scoots up so he’s on the pillows. “I like Oliver for a middle name.”

“Oliver?”

“So that he’s got a bit of his Auntie Liv. Still needs a good strong bible name though, right? Dingle tradition, that.”

Aaron looks at him, long and hard, “I want Jacob.”

“What?”

“I want our son to be called Jacob.”

“Aaron, no.” The connotations make it so that it doesn’t feel right. Not after everything.

“Dingle tradition.” Aaron looks down, “He was the grandson of Sarah.”

Robert feels his throat swell up and he nods slowly, “Jacob?”

His voice is weak and hesitant, but Aaron moves to lie down alongside him, “Proof you’re gonna do this and be alright, Rob, I promise ya.”

 

~*~

 

The mural that Liv paints for Jacob is perfect. She’s the only one they tell his name, his gender, and she swears to guard it with her life. Robert loves how it’s full of beautiful colour that he won’t see right away. Babies only see in black and white to start with, but he’ll learn and grow knowing that colour permeates his life. That his auntie created this entire world for him.

Robert lets Aaron put up the co-sleeper cot thing in their room as he’s getting big enough that his back hurts when he walks for too long and his pelvis feels like he’s got weights sitting on it.

He’s almost 8 months when he gets his first false contraction. He feels like his whole lower abdomen is being ripped open both through the front of his body and out his spine. He clings to the fridge as he slides down it, terrified if he touches himself anywhere he’ll see blood. He shouts for Liv to help him, she’s upstairs doing her homework when she hears him and calls 999.

“Just calm down. I don’t see blood, it’s probably one of them Braxton Hicks contractions or summat,” Liv tries to reassure him. She’s called Aaron and he’s on his way.

He moans into his arm and prays that Aaron will hurry up. He’s rushing through the door as the paramedics run through standard questions about his health.

No one seems concerned, but they take him into hospital as a precaution and he’s let go almost immediately as a false alarm when nothing happens for several hours after those first contractions. Aaron holds his hospital bag as they get a cab back to the Mill. Liv makes a quick appearance, only to leave them with, and Robert is making a cup of tea when Aaron collapses. It’s like his legs stop holding him and he goes down like a ton of bricks, barely missing the kitchen table as he hits his knees.

“Aaron!”

He just kneels there looking up, his eyes wet with tears. The toll of being there for Robert and Robert’s fears has finally caught up with him. Robert sits himself down by Aaron, cross legged, to try and support his bump.

“Y’alright?” He asks as Aaron nods.

“I thought I’d lost ya both. I was terrified.”

“But it was alright in the end.”

Aaron sits up and Robert tries to stop him, “I don’t ever wanna do that again.”

Robert keeps his hand on Aaron’s knee and Aaron breathes in and out.

“I can’t—” He starts and stops.

After months of chats with Anne and working with Louis, Robert finally realises he’s ready. Whatever Aaron is going to say, he’s ready to deal with because he has been through every scenario six times over.

“What, Aaron?” He asks, kindly.

It’s strange, but there’s a calm in him that never existed until this moment, he doesn’t know how long it’ll last so he clings to it. As if the scare he had was what he was waiting for, nothing else will prepare him like it did.

Aaron shakes his head and Robert smiles, “We’re gonna be okay, y’know.”

He helps Aaron up, or he tries to, before Aaron hooks his arm under Robert’s and hoists him up.

“I think Jacob wants to meet us as much as we want to meet him.”

And Aaron wraps him, them both, up in a hug so tight that it lasts for ages until Robert has to go to the toilet because their kid is jumping on his bladder.  

 

~*~

 

He gets to his final month of pregnancy and he finally gets that glow everyone talks about. It’s Christmas and Aaron found him a horrendous maternity Christmas jumper with a Xmas pud right over his bump and he finds himself stroking it and the soft bobble for the holly centre at the top. Aaron puts Appletizer in a wine glass, so he doesn’t feel so out of place when he goes over to the Dingles who are already rioting with merriment.

Aaron brings him food because his feet hurt, and everyone makes fun of him, but he doesn’t do anything other than flip them off.

“Bet ya can’t wait to be a dad, Aaron.” Belle asks him with that calm sweetness that Robert has always enjoyed about her as she sits on Robert’s other side.

Belle motions to his stomach, “Can I?”

Robert has been very protective of his bump, but he nods, and Belle gently presses on where he and Aaron know Jacob’s head is and he takes her hand moves it to the other side where his feet are.

“Nugget likes a good Xmas warbler.” Aaron says proudly as he watches his cousin wait for a kick.

She laughs though, “I can’t believe you’re still calling your baby, Nugget.”

Aaron sips his beer, “The baby isn’t called Nugget. It’s bad luck to tell people the baby’s name beforehand.”

“Where’d ya hear that?” She’s a little incredulous but Aaron passes it off well.

“Not taking any chances, eh, Belle. We want the baby to get the best shot, don’t we?” Aaron grabs his hand and laces their fingers together and holds them on his thigh.

“Ah, yeah, nothing better to aspire to than a Christmas pud.” Robert nods solemnly.

The three of them laugh and Robert eventually has to beg off because he’s tired, Aaron tries to go with him, but Robert stops him.

“It’s Christmas and they’re ya family, spend time with ‘em.”

Aaron puts his hands either side of Robert’s stomach, “You’re my family and I wanna spend time with ya.”

 

~*~

 

By the time they get to Aaron’s birthday, Robert is done. It’s not cute anymore, he feels heavy and in pain and he can’t sleep properly because he’s so enormous.

“Rob.”

“What.” He knows he’s being petulant and he doesn’t leave their bedroom even though it’s Aaron’s birthday because here is the only place he feels semi-comfortable.

“Come on.”

“No.”

“I want to see ya.”

“You can see me from Hotten.”

And that’s part of it. Their sex life, such as it was, has dwindled to nothing because Robert can’t be doing with anything on the rare occasion they’re both in the mood and he feels so utterly disconnected from such a vital part of their relationship.

The thing is, Aaron knows him, so he can see these problems a mile off. He leans down, bracing on the headboard to give Robert a kiss. He cups Robert’s cheek, tilts his chin up with a thumb and kisses _him_. He ignores everything else and makes sure that _Robert_ knows he’s loved.

“Just a little longer and then I’ll have ya.” Aaron whispers against his mouth and Robert flails when he grabs for Aaron and he moves too far away.

His only satisfaction is that the shower starts running soon after and he hopes the water is cold.

 

~*~

 

Jacob Oliver Dingle-Sugden is born January 10th 2021, via caesarean section, and weighing 7lbs 8oz. He’s got his daddy’s blue eyes and his shock of dark hair. The nurse tells them it probably won’t last and will fall out before he becomes a little blonde bombshell like his dad.

That pleases Aaron, but Robert loves that he looks just like Aaron, down to the cute upturn of his nose.

“Glad that my beak hasn’t muscled its way in.” Robert jokes and Aaron just kisses the tip of his nose like he has never heard anything more ridiculous. He takes Jacob from Robert so that he can go to the bathroom.

“How’s ya stitches?”

Robert grouses. He’s got a combination of stitches and glue and while he isn’t in pain as such, he’s very aware of how he can pop half his abdomen open very easily.

“Worth it.”

Aaron smiles at him, wide and grinning as he bounces Jacob in his arms. He really is a natural with babies.

“Oh god, this is how you get me, innit? Convince me of ya little football team of kids.”

There’s a moment’s tense silence because they hadn’t talked about kids after Jacob. Robert had struggled so much with the idea of one, more than one seemed impossible.

Aaron is tentative, “Ya considering more?”

Robert looks at Aaron, in his favourite black t-shirt with their son’s naked head cradled in the crease of his elbow.

“Well, I dunno. I guess?”

“Okay, we’ll talk about it.” Aaron gives Robert a kiss and eases Jacob, now sleeping soundly, back into Robert’s arms. “Let’s just get on with this one, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

 

~*~

 

They do have more. Two more. Asher Victor and Lillian ‘Lily’ Jaqueline. Ash, just like his big brother, looks just like his daddy and Lily looks the spit of Robert. It also means she gets away with murder with Aaron.

It’s Robert’s 41st birthday and Lily is chucking her food off her high chair with reckless abandon and he’s about to have a meltdown at his husband when he realises he’s put a waterproof mat under her chair.

“Y’know babies like to touch stuff, this way she can learn, and we don’t have to hoover every night.”

Aaron is honestly the perfect dad. Never once has he raised his voice, done anything without explaining it to them to the best that they can understand.

“I always knew you were gonna be the best dad. It was just me that was the problem.”

“Except you ain’t.” Aaron gives him a little huff as he adds some more of the pea puree that Robert made this morning to her plastic plate.

Robert was less a duck to water than Aaron, he basically followed him around asking him questions like he hadn’t read all the books and had no instincts at all, until one night, he was sure he heard coughing. Tiny, easily mistakable and he woke Aaron up, “Didja hear that?”

Aaron nodded when it happened again before he called 111. It ended up being a cold, but it gave Robert the confidence to know that he knew his son.

“I only made it ‘cause I have you.”

“And ya think I didn’t? Rob, these kids, our kids, are the only kids I’ve ever wanted to ‘ave.” Aaron brushes Lily’s blonde hair back and kisses the top of her head. “I never wanted any of it ‘til I met you.”

Aaron gives him his little soft half smile and he looks up at him, “I remember when you told me about Jacob and you” he motions a larger belly, “I think time just stopped.”

“I remember looking at ya and thinking ‘we did that’. Everyday, just watching ‘im grow, not even knowing ‘im but loving ‘im.”

“I didn’t make it easy.”

“Robert, we promised each other it would never be easy.” Aaron walks over to him and pulls him in by his belt loops. He’s still a little self-conscious of his stomach, his tiger stripes pronounced and his thighs still a bit squishy. “You were anxious, and I think it helped, ‘cause I was so up in the clouds that nothin’ coulda brought me down.”

“Unless it was me.”

“Unless it was you needing me.”

Aaron catches his mouth before they hear clapping and Lily chanting, “Kiss, kiss, kiss.”

“You wanna kiss too?” Aaron laughs as he smacks loudly against their daughter’s cheek.

She keeps chanting, “KISS, KISS, KISS.”

Robert rolls his eyes and kisses Lily’s other cheek and she claps ecstatically and wriggles in her seat.

“We made a good life, Rob, enjoy it.”

He does. He so does. The son he never expected and the two that completed them, it’s everything.


End file.
